Newborn Zombie Defense

Screw Forcefields, We've Got Zorbs

2009-02-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

Alright Cat, after some research into Zorb defense, my friend ATTJTLAC found this video. It's a perfect example of how Zorbs could take out a zombie. As far as stopping the zorb on downhill descents: You Can't. But, why would you want to? As you'll see in this video, with even a small amount of momentum you could really take out a few enemies.
Also, I'd like to start referring to the human sized hamster ball as a Zorbie (see, it's like zombie, but with one letter changed).

Stupid videos
Thanks for reading!

Good Idea: Hamster Ball

2009-02-15T04:54:00.000-08:00

My friend, ATTJTLAS, made a great suggestion in one of the comments sections!
I am in the preliminary stages of developing some sort of sturdy human sized hamster balls.

You might think that sounds a little nuts, but I am not the first person. Here are a few examples of human sized hamster balls.

A lot of the balls that I've found are inflatable, which is really neat, but I question their durability. If they are durable, then they'd be the best choice for any long distance walking. For short distances I think I'd feel safer in something like the following;

This is a competition on American Gladiators called the Atlasphere. I know that it's just a TV show, but if you could get something like this built and have it be sturdy, I'd think you really had something. And surely you could go through a few zombies on the back roads in one of these.
The main downfall of the Atlasphere is that it's not comfortable. "If you just need to go to the barn, it'd be fine," is what ATTJTLAC says.

I'm not sure I get how this one works, but it's an idea. If it had glass over that front part it'd do.

I really like this photo. I also like the ball. I'd be a little scared if that thin piece of plastic was all that stood between me and the fields of zombies, but if it was durable you'd be hard pressed to find a better option.... except, of course, the next photo.

I think these are for a video game. It seems that the trick to all of these is finding one that's made to survive the zombie holocaust. But, as a new mother, you have to find one where you can stop and change a diaper inside of it. Also, it's got to be roomy enough for you to be running with a baby strapped on your back.
Anyhow, this is the spring board for ATTJTLAC's idea. Suggestions? Links?

Just when I thought he couldn't get any better...

2009-02-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

Zombies are NOT a Joking Matter

2009-02-08T15:54:00.001-08:00

Crying Equals Dying

2009-02-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

As a new mother, I fully understand that babies will cry. While the problem may seem, in our non-zombie infested world, like a mild nuisance and a communicative necessity, it is a dangerous action in a world where zombies are active. With a new baby it will be hard to muffle the screams of hunger and discomfort; which is why the act of motherhood will have to be taken a notch higher if one hopes to survive. We may not allow ourselves to lack in our mothering skills. If pregnant, read everything you can find about keeping your baby happy. Once the baby is born you will have to act with precision and expertise. Be diligent in changing diapers. Know when your baby will be hungry, and feed before they are in distress. Make your baby as comfortable as possible. Hold your baby as often as you can.
These may all seem like impossibilities with wild brain eaters abounding, but I promise you, it Can be done. I will later explain functions that can be of great assistance in these quests; such as:

Nesting- One must prepare a secluded location for sleeping and feeding. This will most likely be in an abandoned tree house, which must have an elevated escape route, or an attic with a like escape route.
Inoculation and medicine- Vaccinations must be given to your child. It may seem unnecessary in a post zombie world, but I assure you, the last thing you need in a world of zombies is a case of polio or tetanus. Learn about the doses and storage of these vaccinations and medicines, and try to obtain them from vacant hospitals or health departments.
OMP- "On the Move Protection," such as modified baby carriers and Kevlar clothing.

The reason crying is so dangerous is that zombies rely almost solely on hearing to locate food (us). Their eyesight becomes impaired soon after their transformation from death. They can smell, but the smell of decay; such as dirty diapers, does not attract them. The smell of milk and sweat does. Of course you don't want to live among soiled diapers, but it's not a bad idea to surround your nest with them as a mask of the life inside. You also want to line your nest with some type of soundproof insulation. Blankets, egg crate, and even mud can help protect your privacy.
Just remember, a happy baby is a quiet baby. Practice your skills and perfect them.

Ever thought about starting a family? Use your brain, before they do.

2009-02-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

Every bit of zombie literature I've read has delivered little or no help for the new mothers in the post zombie outbreak world. There are often either one or more pregnant women or infants in some of the stories and guides, but it seems that many of the authors take the easy out and let those characters die. I believe there is a fairly simple dual explanation for this: 1) The authors are men, and therefore see the dilemma through their perhaps more offensive (as in football, not my feelings) stance. 2) As men, they may not understand what the survival of an infant and mother would entail. For my own peace of mind I have decided to take these challenges on and lead the population of new mothers to a better understanding of the steps we will have to take to protect the fruits of our loins from the ever looming doom of zombie attacks.
Stay tuned for the answers that could save your family's lives.